Honey, we spoil our child
• Honey, we spoil our child
The eternal struggle of opinions: genetics or upbringing. Is it possible to damage a person's upbringing or he was born bad? This question is to give a definite answer is still quite difficult. In the end, the genetics to the end has not really been studied. But with education is more or less clear. So whether it is possible to spoil a child's upbringing? Try to understand.
We often hear phrases such as: "Yes, I also love it" or "this is due to an overabundance of love." And do not argue, parental love - a very strong feeling. But is it always the good? Obviously, this is not the case. Then, how to understand what method of education is wrong?
There are certain signs of behavior that are already told that you are doing something wrong. Naughty, dissatisfied, demanding child habitually hysterical - is a bright sign of useless education. By and large, the parents teach their children that this behavior - is the norm.
He eats what he wants and when he wants to? He sleeps much as he wants and when he wants to? Any toy - if only without tears and tantrums? You take away the toys scattered themselves? Then why are you surprised? Child methodically, day after day, taught reckless attitude to the schedule, order, responsibility and modesty in desires. This adult first put the "bad" program in the head, and then, as if waking from a dream, begin to demand from the children of what he knows and what is not accustomed.
The first thing parents need to remember and to comply strictly, according to psychologists, so it is to be always consistent. You can not give the child a first setting, then even if modify it slightly. You need to initially establish certain limits and follow their limits.
It is beyond the "game rules" will give you room to maneuver. If the child starts to balk and ask something of their own, being available to the existing framework can be authoritatively forcefully remind him that you can do, and what not.
At the same time, in no case can not go too far. Acceptance of "good cop - bad cop" - it's all about you. A child should not have to be afraid as the devil fears holy water. Only feeling safe, baby will be able to perceive your words. And it means - first try to reach an agreement, explaining lucidly and calmly their point of view. And in the case of a rigid resistance to pressure, insisting on his own. Sometimes parents forget to like to say about our inalienable right "no!".
In the meantime, remember very firmly, to bribe the child - a sin. There is no better way to spoil the baby than bribery. Child standing on her? You do not know how else to reason? Push on, do not give up the slack, and in any case do not give a bribe. This works like a drug, and after a while Kinder begins with tears, writhing in convulsions, begging for a new car or a house for Barbie. The same applies to remuneration. Sam sat on the potty? Good for you, but it is now no reason to load with presents gifts and attention. compensation value in the fact that it is not so easy to get.
Another "sin" overprotective parents may be called. That is the same - "for Any harm." What's wrong with that? - you ask. The thing is that in real life, even though progress, but small, and sometimes large, and will not cause extraneous same enthusiasm that was you. As a result, the child can get lost in their adult life, feel lonely, useless and have a heap of different complexes. The lack of incentives and attention - is also a good lesson for the future of man.
Yes, of course, the child should be loved. But you need to love wisely.