"I am no longer me." Reddit users diagnosed with schizophrenia, talk about how they realized that they began to "leak roof" (Part 2)
Schizophrenia - is one of the most dreaded diseases of the human psyche. Unfortunately, this disease can not be cured until the end, but, thanks to the special drugs that are prescribed by doctors, the person can return to normal life and to function in the same way as before. In the last part of the article we will tell you the story of different people who have found the courage and told about what happened to them at the beginning of their illness.
Today we will continue this theme and tell you a few stories of people who were not afraid to speak out on the subject of how they started such a terrible illness like schizophrenia.
"Your thoughts are no longer your"
"Actually, I think it all started long before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. But the first time I realized that with me something that happened when I began to hear other people's thoughts. It was similar to what the voice inside my head was not mine. I could not control my own thoughts. It feels that in addition to what I've heard, I was not myself. My thoughts were not mine and mine at the same time. It's hard to describe, "- said a user under the nickname claymer.
"My father was a schizophrenic"
"My dad is a schizophrenic. He was diagnosed with the disease about ten years ago, but even before then, it was clearly evident that with him that something was wrong. It all starts with paranoia, that literally "eats" it. He thought that everything is against him and want him to do something bad. After paranoia retreated for a while, it became quite scary. In our house there was an old pendulum, and we used to play with my dad to the game "Ask for Shakespeare." At that time, I thought it funny: we have included a pendulum and it's time to ask questions long dead Shakespeare. My father was not gay, he was in fear, but in spite of this, the Pope was playing with me. Perhaps it was because I liked it.
A little later, my father decided that in our house was got a poltergeist, and he fought with them with the help of invisible fireballs. When I was 12, he accused me of witchcraft and witch named. In fact, all this is very sad and scary, but at the moment that's such episodes have become the norm for me, and I was not afraid. I clearly remember his eyes during one such case (for example, a pendulum), which was filled with something terrible and evil. At such times, the impression that from my dad's nothing left. His body, but the habits, the look and the voice - no. I know that to some extent I am also affected by this terrible disease. At the moment, I feel a kind of anxiety, as well as at times I happen panic attacks and paranoia. I watch their mental health, and hope that all will be well. " This story was told to us by the nickname girl pmaliens.
"The changes and grows into a crisis"
"Change happens so slowly that you do not even realize how much has changed or distorted until a crisis occurs. In my case I had auditory hallucinations (muffled, barely audible radio in another apartment or in a different room, which I could never find the phantom sounds such as the doorbell or phone call, and so on. D.), Paranoia (it was the feeling that I was too "loud thinking", and my thoughts can hear complete strangers). Over time I learned to stop all of these symptoms, to understand the specific mechanism of their occurrence, and I felt better. I thought that all that was happening to me, because of stress at work. At that time I did not know that all this is not signs of problems that have accumulated, but something far more terrible.
In time, muffled radio noise has become more clear, and I began to realize that he was hiding a voice that is constantly talking about the bad and nasty things. But each of these symptoms appear after a very long period of time, and because of this I do not even remembered, when was the last, for example, "radio noise". My paranoia grew, and I began to check the vents for cameras. I thought I heard the thoughts of his wife and best friend. I thought that the neighbors are plotting something bad against me and began to go out only at night. In fact, I did not even notice the change. All this happened with me for several years, and it was decided to move (after all, I thought that everyone in the house in which I live is against me, and there are conspiracies). When we moved to a small rural house, I realized that it was not with others that something is wrong, and with me. I heard all the things that he had heard in the same apartment.
I also checked all the air vents and "hear" the thoughts of his wife. At that moment, I stopped going, answer the phone, watch TV, swim, laugh, talk, even writing that until that moment was my only constant passion. My wife left me, and I was left alone. Fortunately, I just pulled myself together and still went to a psychiatric hospital, "- said a user under the nickname Suemii.