9 things that successful people do
Here is a translation of Dr. Travis Bredberri article
Today, we once again return to this theme and talk about some things that should avoid emotionally competent people to remain calm, restrained, and maintain control over them. They need to deliberately avoid certain emotions because they are very tempting, and if not careful, to no good it will not help. The list below (which is far from complete) presents nine key things that should be avoided in order to increase their emotional stability and activity.
1. They did not allow you to limit your joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction is the result of comparing yourself with others, you are not the master of your own happiness. When emotionally literate people feel good about what they've done, they do not let anyone's opinions or achievements of rob them of that feeling. Yes, it is impossible not to react to what other people think of you, but you should not compare yourself to others, and to the opinions of others should be treated with a certain distrust. Thus, no matter what other people think or do, your self-esteem will always come from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any given point in time, one thing remains certain: you are never as good or as bad as you say they are.
2. They do not forget the
Emotionally literate people are very quick to forgive, but it does not mean that they forget everything. Forgiveness requires letting go of what happened, in order to be able to move on. But this does not mean that the offender will be given a second chance. Emotionally literate people do not want too get caught up in other people's mistakes, so they will show great perseverance in order to protect themselves from future harm.
3. They did not die in combat
Emotionally literate people know how important it is to survive to fight another day. During the conflict, uncontrolled emotions can cause you to rush into battle with such force that you will eventually get serious damage. If, however, you will understand well in their emotions, you can wisely choose the location for the next battle, and be able to stand on his own, when it is really needed.
4. They do not give preference to perfection
Emotionally literate people do not aim to achieve perfection, because they know that perfection is unattainable. Human beings are by nature fallible. When your goal is perfection, you will always stay with a sense of frustration, and ultimately will account spend all their time trying to grieve over what you could do, and about what could be done differently, instead of just enjoy the fact that we managed to achieve.
5. They do not live in the past
Defeat can undermine your self-confidence and make you believe in what you are unlikely to be able to achieve better results in the future. Emotionally literate people know that success lies in their ability to work in conditions of failure, and that they can not work if there will always be living in the past. To achieve something, you want to go for a certain risk, and it is impossible to suppress their faith in the ability to succeed. And when you live in the past, this is what happens, your past becomes your present, and prevent you from moving forward.
6. They do not dwell on the problems of
It is focused on what your focus determines your emotional state. When you concentrate on the problems encountered, you create and maintain a negative emotion and stress, which decreases your activity. If you focus on actions that will help you improve yourself and the circumstances, you create a sense of personal effectiveness, which, in turn, creates positive emotions and activity increases. Emotionally literate people do not dwell on the problems, because they know that they are significantly more effective when focused on solutions to these problems.
7. They do not bind to the whiners
Whiners - it's bad, because they are mired in its own problems, and not able to concentrate on solutions. They want people to have made his party, and joined their whining so that they can feel better. People often feel pressure when listen to the whiners, because they do not want to pass rude and chorstvymi, but there is a fine line between auscultation grateful whiner, and the participation in his negative emotions. This participation can only be avoided by setting certain bounds, and were drawn away from yourself whiner when it is needed. Think of it this way: if a person smokes near you, are you going to sit next to him the whole day, inhaling its smoke, and engaging in "passive smoking"? No, you probably will try to distance themselves from him. With whiners should do the same. To distance, and stop whining stream, there is a great way. You just have to ask the whiner, how he intends to solve the problem. Whiner in this case either calm down, or redirect the conversation to another, a more productive direction.
8. They do not keep the evil
Negative emotions that come along with the offense, are in fact a reaction to stress. Your body is in such a situation goes into "fight or flight" mode. When the threat is really serious, this reaction is important for your survival, but when such a reaction causes some old offense, it could have devastating consequences for your health. Researchers at Emory University found that constant stress is always accompanied by high blood pressure, and heart disease. If you harbored some resentment, this means that you keep a stressful and emotionally competent people try to avoid these situations at all costs. The ability to forgive old grievances not only make you feel better right here and now, it will also allow you to strengthen your health.
9. They do not say "yes", while in fact it does not want to
A study conducted by the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the harder you tell someone "no", the more you will suffer from stress and depression. Inability to say "no" - is really a serious problem for many people. "No" - is a strong word, which does not need to be afraid to use. When it comes time to say "no" emotionally literate people try to avoid phrases such as "I do not think I can" or "I'm not sure." Saying "no" to a new obligation, you keep your existing commitments, and get the opportunity to successfully complete them.